Lidt fly-humor - på engelsk....

**Maria Andersen** · 10-06-2011, 20:07

Lufthansa Pilot to co-pilot, forgetting that the frequency was open:
"We used to come up the Thames, and turn over here for the docks...."
Voice on frequency: "ACHTUNG SCHPITFEUER!!!"

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A fighter pilot goes to a bar after a good day's flying.
Whilst there, he meets a young, attractive and available lady.
She is charmed by his tales of aerial combat, high speed flight, and death defying feats.
The inevitable happens, and they slip away to somewhere more comfortable for some more...intimate...entertainment.

Much later that night the pilot drives home to his long-suffering wife.
On the way he puts on his oxygen mask and draws the straps up as tight as they will go. When he gets home he removes the mask, and bravely enters the house.
Immediately he tells the wife exactly and honestly what he has been up to that evening.
She replies: "Do not lie to me, I can see you have been flying that damned airplane again!"

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A Pan Am 727 waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer, you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a very british accent):
"Because you lost the bloody war!"

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One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.
The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:
"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

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The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot.
They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, callsign Speedbird 206:

Speedbird 206:
"Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! Clear of active runway."

Ground:
"Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground:
"Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206:
"Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience):
"Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly):
"Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark -- and I didn't land."